Today Mom did a little better than yesterday. She's still really tired and doesn't eat much, but each little effort to do more counts! She ate slightly more today than yesterday. She says that everything tastes bad. That's got to be hard.
It was a beautiful sunny day today. Mom decided to come over to our place today which was quite an effort for her. I think it was good for her to get out for a while even if she did sleep most of the time she was here. As always it's great to have her around.
I will take some pictures tomorrow. Sometimes I forget to take them. Sorry the latest posts have been so bland.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year Everyone!
Here's to a new year of hope, faith, love, and joy.
Mom still wouldn't go anywhere today. It's the first time she has missed church since she got here. She also is still having a hard time eating. I did get her to drink 5 ounces of a smoothie today and it didn't take several hours to get it down. So that is progress. We will take it!
I don't have the words to express how much your thoughts, prayers and messages mean to all of us. Thank you so very much!
A dear friend shared this quote with me today and I wanted to share it with you.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Satuday, December 31, 2011
Happy New Year's Eve Everyone!
Today Jill and Lauren went over and helped Mom and Dad take the tree down. Mom carefully packed her treasured ornaments.
She looks somewhat better today, but still doesn't want to eat anything and has no desire to do anything but sleep and rest. I tried to get her to eat the small nutrient dense fruit smoothie I made for her. It was only a 5 ounce smoothie and after 3 1/2 hours she got about 4 ounces in and that was it. We had to just focus on one forth of one spoonful at a time. She just didn't want to have anything to do with eating.
I have been concerned that she just didn't want to fight anymore. She just hasn't been herself this last week. I spoke with her and told her I wasn't quite sure what to do at this point because I didn't know what it was that she wanted. Was she still committed to fighting this battle? Or was she just ready to stop? She told me she's never been in this situation before and didn't know what she wanted to do. She said she needed to pray about it.
I was really not ready to have that conversation at this point. But it's not my choice to make. It's hers. I told her I would support her in whatever she chose to do. With a very heavy heart, I prayed that I would be able to accept whatever God's will was for her.
Mom asked for a special priesthood blessing, and was told in that blessing that she would live longer and that the Lord would bless her with everything she needed at this time. There was a feeling of peace that filled the room.
Afterward, I could tell that the wheels were tuning in her head. We talked for a while, and then Mom said that she would like to continue treatment. She wasn't ready to call it quits.
My mother is a courageous, valiant woman. It breaks my heart that she has to endure such a difficult trials. She has blessed my life in more ways than I could possibly express. I am honored to be her daughter.
Please continue to keep her in your prayers. Thank you to those who have sent emails of how much mom means to you and how she has touched your life. I am collecting them to have them bound for her to encourage her when she's down. It really helps. If you would like to tell her what she means to you or how she has touched your life, or even share a story or an experience you have had with her, you can do so in an email at judysjourney2011@gmail.com.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Today the main goal is to get some kind of nutrients into Mom. Jeff says she gets upset if he tries to get her to eat. I found a triple chocolate protein bar for her today and thought I would see if I can make her a nutrient dense fruit smoothie and see what we can accomplish today.
I cut the protein bar up into 5ths and had her eat one piece an hour. I made her a 4 ounce smoothie with emergent -C in it and it took hours for her to get it down. We tried to get her to go to a movie but she just wanted to sleep. She drank the 4 ounces of the smoothie and ate 4/5 of the protein bar. That was the big accomplishment for the day. Tomorrow we will start again.
I cut the protein bar up into 5ths and had her eat one piece an hour. I made her a 4 ounce smoothie with emergent -C in it and it took hours for her to get it down. We tried to get her to go to a movie but she just wanted to sleep. She drank the 4 ounces of the smoothie and ate 4/5 of the protein bar. That was the big accomplishment for the day. Tomorrow we will start again.
Thursday December 29, 2011
Today was a really long an hard day. It took Mom an hour to get dressed and another hour to get her to the car. She is completely worn out and out of breath after taking just a few steps. Then she has to stop and rest before she can go any further. I have never seen her like this before.
She was silent for most of the ride to the Huntsman Center. When she would try to talk she would only get a few words out and then just stop. It was like there was this blank expression on her face. Most of the way up there she just slept. Jeff is really worried about her as well. It's all I can do to try to keep it together emotionally today.
I am so glad Tawnie is working today and she's Mom's nurse. I talked to her and told her Mom's not eating, she doesn't want to do anything but sleep. We tried to get her to eat ANYTHING we could while we were there. Tawnie got her to drink a little bit of orange juice, but Mom didn't like it at all.
Tawnie and I both were in contact with Mom's oncologist's NP trying to figure out what was going on. We know that if we can't get her to eat she's not going to have the strength to get better. They went ahead and gave Mom her chemo and decided to send her to the ER at the U of U hospital for a work up.
The ER was totally full. Mom had a bed in the hallway right outside the trauma room.
They did some CT scans and gave her some fluids. She started perking up a little after the fluids. There was nothing new on any of her scans and her labs were better today then they have been for weeks. They think she has a cold and want her to try to eat.
After 12 hours up at Huntsman and the ER, they sent us home. Mom just wanted to sleep.
She was silent for most of the ride to the Huntsman Center. When she would try to talk she would only get a few words out and then just stop. It was like there was this blank expression on her face. Most of the way up there she just slept. Jeff is really worried about her as well. It's all I can do to try to keep it together emotionally today.
I am so glad Tawnie is working today and she's Mom's nurse. I talked to her and told her Mom's not eating, she doesn't want to do anything but sleep. We tried to get her to eat ANYTHING we could while we were there. Tawnie got her to drink a little bit of orange juice, but Mom didn't like it at all.
Tawnie and I both were in contact with Mom's oncologist's NP trying to figure out what was going on. We know that if we can't get her to eat she's not going to have the strength to get better. They went ahead and gave Mom her chemo and decided to send her to the ER at the U of U hospital for a work up.
The ER was totally full. Mom had a bed in the hallway right outside the trauma room.
They did some CT scans and gave her some fluids. She started perking up a little after the fluids. There was nothing new on any of her scans and her labs were better today then they have been for weeks. They think she has a cold and want her to try to eat.
After 12 hours up at Huntsman and the ER, they sent us home. Mom just wanted to sleep.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Another day Mom doesn't want to leave the apartment. She just wants to sleep. She's not eating either. I am not sure what's going on exactly but something is up. I will talk her nurses tomorrow when we go up for chemo.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Mom is still rather tired today. She's not as talkative as she usually is. She had an appointment at the Huntsman today in the Brain Clinic. She had a brain MRI and then she was to see Dr. Shreive who is one of the leading radiologists in the nation who specializes in brain disease. It was a very long day.
The MRI results showed that there were no changes to the four tumors in her brain. That means that they have not shrunk at all, however, that also means that there are no new tumors and that the existing ones have not grown at all. So while it's a little disappointing, it's also pretty good.
Dr. Shreive wants to do some spot radiation treatment to the tumors in her brain. The radiation she had done before was to her whole brain. They can't repeat that without causing more harm than good. But hey can just do some high dose radiation to just the tumors themselves. This will be a one time treatment. It takes about two months to be able to see the results of the treatment so they will repeat the MRI in two months to see what the progress is. She is scheduled to have the simulation on Jan. 4th and then the actual radiation treatment will be on the 10 of Jan.
Mom didn't really say much about her results or the treatment. She just said she was tired and wanted to go to bed. She doesn't seem herself. When I ask her about it she says she's just tired.
The MRI results showed that there were no changes to the four tumors in her brain. That means that they have not shrunk at all, however, that also means that there are no new tumors and that the existing ones have not grown at all. So while it's a little disappointing, it's also pretty good.
Dr. Shreive wants to do some spot radiation treatment to the tumors in her brain. The radiation she had done before was to her whole brain. They can't repeat that without causing more harm than good. But hey can just do some high dose radiation to just the tumors themselves. This will be a one time treatment. It takes about two months to be able to see the results of the treatment so they will repeat the MRI in two months to see what the progress is. She is scheduled to have the simulation on Jan. 4th and then the actual radiation treatment will be on the 10 of Jan.
Mom didn't really say much about her results or the treatment. She just said she was tired and wanted to go to bed. She doesn't seem herself. When I ask her about it she says she's just tired.
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