April 2012

I apologize for not staying up to date on the blog.  Things changed so much and were so busy that I have really struggled to find the time to catch things up.  We had two close family members pass away in Feb. and things have just snowballed from there.  So I will now try to get things caught up.

April started pretty well.  Mom was doing pretty well and we were enjoying her and Jeff being back with us and getting back into a routine with chemo and other appointments that go along with this disease. 

I needed a project to work on while we waited through Mom's chemo treatments so I decided to crochet her a white summer hat.  It turned out really cute and Mom liked it.

On April 6th, I came home from a county meeting and received a phone call that a dear friend of mine, Marci, had passed away very unexpectedly.  Mom knew her as well and it really sent shock waves through everyone who knew the family.

The funeral was on April 12th and Mom and I attended.  Marci was just a couple of years older than I was and leaves behind a set of 7 year old twin girls.  The service was very moving.   Our Bishop conducted the service and told the congregation that he had felt the need to pray about what he had prepared to speak about that morning.  He said he felt that something was missing so he asked the Lord what it was He wanted the family and those in attendance to know.  He said the answer came very clearly that he was to tell them that if they were angry it was okay.  That anger was part of the grieving process, and that if they were angry with Him, that was okay too.  But that we should be patient with ourselves and patient with Him.  That he has a plan for her and for us, and if we would just be patient we would be able to see that plan unfold.

That really touched both Mom and I in a very personal way.  I know I really needed to hear those loving words from our Heavenly Father.

Mom had a friend who was celebrating a milestone in her life and Mom wanted to go back to Illinois to support her over a weekend trip.  So after the funeral, I started to take her to the airport.  I was feeling a little uneasy about her going back to Illinois so soon.  She had only been back about three weeks or so.  But Mom was determined!  Well the day was rainy and we were about two blocks down the road on our way to the airport when  huge CAT truck from the copper mine pulled out in front of us.  It was actually just the flat bed of the truck, but that was big enough that it took up all three lanes of Bangeter Highway.  I told mom "I don't think you are going to make this flight now." as the truck could only go about 25-30 miles per hour.  So we went back home.

Mom was determined to get back home, so she had me take her back to the airport the next day and she made the flight.  However, an hour after landing in Peoria, Mom spiked a high fever.  She was shaking violently and vomiting.  She was so weak that Jeff had to call an ambulance to transport her because he couldn't get her to the car himself.

Once again they ran the same series of test they did back at the begining of March.  They put her on antibiotics and got her stablized and she came home on the 17th. 

I had a feeling that I should take the time to go back to Illinois to help Mom get some things done that she had been asking me to do there for a couple of months.  I felt that when she came back to Utah, it would be quite a while before she would be going back to Illinois agian.  So on the 18th of April, I drove back to Illinois with all four of my kids.

An hour after getting to Mom and Jeff's house, Jeff decided to dive off of the one step on to the driveway and cut and scraped his face up pretty well.  He also did a number on his neck an back.  It was a pretty bad fall.  He couldn't move his neck without terrible pain for quite awhile.  He is still having some problems with it now.  I took him to the doctor and they looked him over pretty well and took several x-rays.  Fortunately he didn't break anything.

On April 25, my nephew Bobby came to visit Mom for a while.  They had a nice visit but I could tell mom wasn't feeling quite herself. 

As the day progressed she seemed to decline.  By evening she was running a high fever again and we were advised to have her transported to the hospital by ambulance again.  So we did.  Again they ran all kinds of test and still nothing was showing up.  I called our Docs up at Huntsman and they suggested to have the ER repeat a brain MRI to see what was going on in there.  They did and found that there was a 5th tumor that had developed and another tumor had grown.  They also determined that Mom was having seizures as well.

By the next day, the 26th, Mom was not very responsive.  She was just sleeping.  The nurse came in to try to arouse mom by doing a stirnum rub and pinching her legs and Mom would just kind of wrinkle her forehead.  But she wouldn't talk or wake up.  We were very worried.  She didn't open her eyes or say anything at all until Kate and I went to leave.  Kate said she loved mom and mom told Kate "I love you."  I then went to give Mom a hug and told her good bye and that I loved her and she opened her eyes for just a brief moment and said in a weak voice, "I love you too."  I started to cry and told her she was the best mom I could ever have.  She could tell that I was crying and she reached her trembling hand up to my face and tried to wipe away my tears, and said, " Don't cry baby doll."  Of course I just cried more.

By the next day, the docs had pumped her full of steroids and she was awake and talking again.  That was such a releif!  That night I was going to go up to see her again but it was getting late and I didn't want her to be up late so I called her to tell her I would see her first thing in the morning.  Well she was wide awake and chatty as ever.  I knew this was a golden moment and one that I shouldn't let pass by, so I went up with my brother Dave.  We had the best conversation that night.  The three of us talked until 3:00am!  It was beautiful!  I will always cherish that memory!

The doctors felt that at this point it was time for her to transistion to hospice care.  They released her on Sunday evening and Monday morning Hospice came out to the house.  They went over all their stuff and they handed me a form to sign.  I looked at it and it was a "do not resusetate" order.  I was so not prepared to sign that.  I mean, I know in my head that that was coming and the importance of it at this point, but I didn't realize how hard it would be to actually sign it.

The doctor told us that he thought Mom would have about 2-4 weeks to live.

Later that week on Thursday, May 7th Jeff was really short of beath and having chest pain.  He was trying to mow the yard and would make a lap around the yard and have to come inside to rest for about 30-40 minutes.  Then he started to break out in a cold sweat and got nausious.   So we ended up taking him to the ER to make sure he wasn't having another heart attack.  They kept him over night and sent him home the next day.  They still might end up doing another angiogram on him.